A Year of Adventures

One year ago, I decided to actively eat disgusting foods.  But I had (and still have) a very skewed view of what qualified as "disgusting."

My views were not affected by morals.  I do not categorically avoid foods because I am vegetarian, pescatarian, vegan, fruitarian, or any other type of eater restricted by ethical or religious qualms about eating certain things.

(Uh oh, cue minor rant about privilege....) Yes, when possible, I try to get meat and produce from companies that I know treat their animals well or better yet from farmers' markets.  I prefer Heartland meat over anything I can get in Jewel.  But I can afford to prefer that.  Other people cannot afford to buy grass-fed beef over industrial beef.  I respect that and do not judge what people eat based on how it came to be on their plate.  I judge it based on if it's gross.  (End rant.  Thanks for sticking it out!)

But my views on what makes a food gross are also not tied up with cultural norms.  I understand why people eat grasshoppers, squid, livers, testicles, you name it.  While I would not seek out a testicle as part of my meal, I might feel differently if I hadn't grown up in a very specific part of the world.  I also find culturally "normal" foods for my region to be disgusting.  Pickles, for example.  In the Midwest especially, people eat pickles off of sticks like popsicles.  They are disgusting.

 

Pictured above: Nightmare fuel.  Photo from http://jschumacher.typepad.com/joe/

But a lot has changed in a year.  I have had many adventures, with varying degrees of success.  There are foods that were securely on my "Do Not Eat" list that are now very securely on my "Do Eat" list.  And I have come to terms with the fact that I may occasionally have to eat birds.

These are the foods that have made the jump to the other side:

• Bell peppers
• Beans
• Cooked tomatoes
• Cooked onions
• Squash
• Small amounts of pepper
• Larger amounts of mustard
• Ketchup
• Hollandaise sauce
• Worcestershire sauce

If I can make that much progress in my first year adventuring, imagine what I can accomplish in my second!

May Day Adventure

On May Day, Joey and I tried another recipe from his running cookbook.  This one was called Bean and Vegetable Chili.  It involved beef, beans, zucchini, eggplant, carrots, tomatoes, and spices.  The recipe also called for mushrooms, but I'm not adventurous enough to eat fungus.

I've never had eggplant.  Just not a food we really have in the house.  I had no idea what it would taste like.  I figured that since it was a chili, it would have a sort of mushy, stewed-veggie sort of texture.

Pre-mushy veggies.  Eggplant doesn't look too offensive.

I couldn't finish my chili, but it wasn't because of the eggplant.  I was right about the texture.  If eggplant has a taste, I couldn't pick it out in the chili.  I couldn't taste the zucchini or the carrots very much either.  I'll have to try eggplant again.  Maybe I'll try that Eggplant Parmesan I hear people talking about.

Post-mushy chili.  Beans, beef, veggies, and deadly spices.

I couldn't finish my chili because it was too spicy.  But I managed to eat about three fourths of my bowl before the cumin won!  That's progress!

Another Change in the List

So last time, I talked about judging Worcestershire Sauce a "Do Not Eat" food without so much as a taste.  Turns out, it's pretty innocent.  But I don't count that as a true shift from the "Do Not Eat" list to the "Totally Eat" list.  That's just another case of my flawed judicial system.

Beans were a food that landed on the "Do Not Eat" list for flagrant crimes against taste buds.  Like I said, they taste like paste.  After burritos made at home and enchiladas ordered at a Mexican restaurant, I've definitely been warming up to beans.  I still wonder if they could be used in art projects, but eating them now seems like a better alternative.

I know.  I barely know who I am anymore.

To put my feelings to the test, I wanted to try Black Bean Burgers.  I wasn't sure how a burger without cow could still be a burger let alone something a person would want to eat.   And there was mustard in it.  But I got Joey on board (he was more willing to give them a go than I was), and off we went on our adventure.

As I was patting the bean concoction into its burger shape, my dad passed through the kitchen.  "Are you baking cookies?" he asked.

"No," my sister answered.  "She's making black bean burgers.  That's what vegetarians eat when they say they're eating burgers."

He looked at my burgers.  "Well, looks like I'm not becoming a vegetarian."

I didn't blame him.  There were oats in the burger.  It didn't read as kosher to omnivores like us.  But that's what made it an adventure.

But how was the final product?

Can you see the oats?  Don't the beans almost look like chocolate chips?  That's why my dad thought they were cookies.

It was pretty delicious.  Like, we're-totally-making-this-again delicious.  The mustard was a bit strong, but other than that I only have praise.  The burger was super filling.  And they were super easy to make.  And the ingredients are cheap.  As someone whose student loans just kicked in, I appreciate food that doesn't put a dent in my student loan fund.

Black beans are officially on the "Totally Eat" list.

A Little Less Gringa

Last week was Joey's birthday.  To celebrate, he asked if I would be up for going to a Mexican restaurant.  We live in a neighborhood with a very large Mexican population.  There are lots of restaurants around us that Joey has been wanting to try.

Since I can finally eat beans, I agreed.  We found a restaurant nearby, and it even sold cheeseburgers!  (That's important because my dad doesn't eat Mexican food.  I had to get my picky-ness from somewhere!)

So everyone was seated around the table.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous.  This was a huge gamble.  I took a deep breath and reached for some tortilla chips to help settle my nerves.  I saw my dad dip the chips in the salsa.  I didn't remember him liking salsa.

"I don't mind it if the salsa is mild."

Not really a gamble.  Just a leap of faith.

So I decided to brave the scary, red sauce.  I dipped my chip in the salsa.  And it was spicy!!  That's what I get for trusting a man who likes mild curry.

The chips and salsa were free, so I wasn't losing much by trying them.  Just taste buds.  My main course would definitely be a gamble.  I went with cheese enchiladas in a red sauce.  There was no description of the sauce, and I was wagering actual money on whether or not I would be able to eat this meal.

Here's my hand.  Hopefully a safe bet?

I wiped the onions off the top.  Raw onions are still not going to happen for a good long time.  I cut off a small bit of enchilada and went all in.

The red sauce had very little flavor, just lightly tomato, and it wasn't spicy at all!  Cheese is always delicious.  I slowly came to a realization.  I liked this meal!  I enjoyed this meal at an actual Mexican restaurant!  My family was so proud!

Definitely going back again.  And can't wait to hit up La Cabaña and finally get more than a margarita!  Too bad Iowa is so far....

Taco Surprise

I do not eat most food found on Mexican restaurant menus.  I also don't eat most food on pretty much any restaurant menu, but that's beside the point.  Joey very much enjoys Mexican food.  Miriah practically lives on refried beans.  So last night, we made Traditional Beef Burritos.

This recipe has a couple of things that are "Do Not Eat" foods.  The first one is cumin.  Cumin is still a bit too spicy for this kid.  I've realized that chili powder isn't actually so bad, but cumin just fans the flames of any other spice in a dish.

The second big "Do Not Eat" food is refried beans.  While they are essentially the life force of my sister, I maintain that beans are gross.  If you're not going to let your kid eat paste, why are you going to let them eat beans?  Same consistency, same taste.  And before you ask, yes, I have eaten paste.

Same adhesive properties?  Who knows.  Miriah won't let me "waste" them in order to find out.

And of course, "Do Not Eat" food number three.  Taco sauce.  Mainly by virtue of the fact that it is sauce specifically designed for a food that I find too spicy and too suitable for an art project.  In fact, after looking at the ingredients, I decided taco sauce was innocent till proven guilty.

Look at that!  It's even mild!  Maybe it won't be so bad....

We browned the meat (yum), added garlic (yum) and onion (eh), and then the recipe started getting gross.  But it also started smelling awesome.  I was even starting to feel a little excited.  How could something with so much garlic turn out bad?  I hoped (since this was dinner) that it couldn't.

After trying to roll the burritos, Joey passed the task to me.  I treated it like a Potbelly sandwich, and it seemed to go just fine.  Our tortillas were slightly too small, but we managed.  We popped them into the oven to bake.  Remembering those way-too-ambitious pork chops, I started brainstorming back-up dinner options.

After we took them out of the oven, I put more cheese on mine.  Once again, cheese is delicious.  I had forgotten to buy sour cream, so we had to skip that part.  The burritos looked good but scary.  Who knew how much the cumin and taco sauce would burn my mouth?

The potential dangers are so well hidden....

The meat was a little spicy.  But I could totally handle it!  I'm quite proud.  I think this is proof that I'm maturing as an eater.

More surprising though, I preferred the beans to the ground beef mixture.  Beans go well with cheese.  I don't know if that's the magic of cheese or my continuing personal growth.  I guess the next step would be to try refried beans on their own.  I wonder if Miriah would be willing to part with them.

And so the adventure begins...

I am a picky eater.  Most of the foods I like can be found on the kids' menu.  I am trying to change that.
Let me break down some of the foods I eat:

• Potatoes
• Hot dogs
• Eggs
• Macaroni and cheese
• Broccoli
• Cottage cheese
• Most fruit
• Carrots
• Beef
• Pork
• Cheese
• Salt
• Pastries

Surprisingly, the list could go on.  But not much longer.

The list of things I don't eat is longer than most epic poems.  Here's a small selection:

• Turkey
• Chicken
• Salami
• Pepperoni
• Fish
• Pepper
• Curry
• Mustard
• Chili
• Squash
• Beans
• Pickles
• Oranges
• Cauliflower
• Olives
• Tomatoes
• Bell peppers
• Onions
• Cheesecake

 I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

A few days ago, I began actively trying to shorten this list.  Already, it is hard and at times unpleasant.  But I am trying!  To start things off, I ate about a tablespoon of baked beans earlier this week.  I did not relish the slightly mushy texture, but the taste was not as horrific as I remember it being 7 or so years ago.

I am tired of having the most complicated order at the table!  I am tired of being told that 24 is too old to order off the kids' menu!  It's finally time for me to start eating like a grown-up!  So let's adventure off the kids' menu and see what we find....